Holywell Town mascot accused of being a “glory-hunting smiling assassin”

Holywell Town’s legendary mascot Cecil the Crocodile has been labelled a ‘glory hunting smiling assassin’ by a local football snoop.

Well-known North Wales football fan Sebastian Crunch launched a bitter attack on the lovable inflatable after Holywell’s 3-1 win over Gresford in Sunday’s NEWFA Challenge Cup Final at Ruthin.

Cecil, who first rose to fame at the 2015 FAW Trophy Final in Llandudno, where he became the first reptile to be sent off in a Welsh football match only to later appear in celebration photos following the Wellmen’s 4-2 victory over Penrhyndeudraeth, has been quiet for some time.

He was thought to be searching for treasure in the River Dee, while other unconfirmed reports claim he is building a time machine in the abandoned ship at Mostyn Docks.

However, he turned up at Sunday’s final bold as brass and maintained his 100% record of Holywell winning every match he attends.

Local stirrer Seb Crunch questioned the motives of the rubbery green semi-aquatic reptile, who unlike other crocs born in Africa, Asia, the Americas and Australia, said hello to the world in a Llandudno poundshop back in 2015.

Crunch thinks Cecil’s reputation as Wales’ No 1 mascot has been ‘blown up out of all proportion’. He would like to see him deflated.

“Cecil only ever turns up when there’s a big cup at stake and only ever follows a winning side,” said Crunch.

“He’s had a whale of a time over the past few months after Holywell won 25 on the bounce, but he was absent when the Wellmen lost 2-1 to Penybont in the Welsh Cup, claiming South Wales rivers did not agree with him.

“But answer me this…..where is Cecil when Holywell are playing midweek in the freezing cold at Buckley in mid-winter when everyone’s nads are frozen solid?

“He’s nowhere to be seen. Cecil is a pot hunter who wants Holywell to stay in the Cymru North so he can avoid the trips up south.

“He’s a glory hunting smiling assassin – and don’t be fooled by those smiles. He’d steal your burger and chips from the Halkyn Road canteen as soon as look at you.

“Beware this impostor – he is a fair-weather fan.”

Cecil refused to comment to Grassroots North Wales, in fact he was downright snappy when asked why he refused to attend this season’s Welsh Cup tie at Hakin United, claiming he went to HALKYN instead by mistake.

When questioned further on his plans for the summer, which include rumours that he will be squatting in Zebb Edwards’ garden pond, the creature who also goes by the name of Greenfield began to cry uncontrollably.

“Don’t take any notice of him,” said Seb Crunch. “Those are just crocodile tears.”

• no animals were harmed in the writing of this story